Connection Not Found
The rise and fall of the relationships that surround us in an age of digital over-consumption
Since when did asking a friend for a ride to the airport become such a loaded request? When was the last time a friend brought over soup when you were feeling under the weather? And when did people stop asking those in their communities to teach them new skills rather than turn to online video tutorials? I find myself asking these questions when deciding whether to ask those around me for favors or turn to service-based apps. Technology brings so much comfort and ease, but in the shadow of “apps for everything” lies a slow and steady retreat from community. The rise of social media and service-based app’s ease of use has changed the relationship people once had to their communities- for better or for worse. Many are experiencing negative consequences from this, but used thoughtfully, technology can still be a useful tool for connection.
Because technology is always in our pocket, it’s easy to rely on it. I could probably go days without interacting with the general public thanks to all the services I can get on my phone. Everything I need to keep busy is in the palm of my hand. If I have Wi-Fi and a phone charger, I’m all set. But this can also be a trap that is all too easy to fall into. Social isolation is on the rise. Research shows that 74% of people between 18 and 34 say it’s harder to connect with people today that in the past, and 70% of this group wish someone would check in with them more often.
As time spent on our phones increase, we may also experience the feeling of loneliness. Mindlessly scrolling on social media may be a welcome way to blow off steam for some, but for others, it may just be a Band-Aid. The short-term dopamine release from liking a post is far from what we really need, which is more human connection. This is becoming a problem for many, as the average person uses social media for over two hours per day. Time flies when we are scrolling.
Its not all doom and gloom- there is another side to this coin. There are many extensive benefits from technology and social media. We can retreat into our rooms with Wi-Fi and a charging cable and feel fulfilled for a bit, or we can use these tools in our pocket to discover our next adventure and create new opportunities for connection. How we choose to use this tech which we have access to and the exponential good that can come out of the tools that can connect us depends on, well, us.
Social media is here to stay, and while it creates some challenges, it can also bring benefits when used mindfully and with intention. For example, social media can make it easier to create and maintain diverse friendships and networks. Staying connected to friends from every corner of the world has never been easier, and those with these diverse social networks “tend to report higher social cohesion in their neighborhoods and, in turn, higher levels of well-being”.
Furthermore, social media can be used as a platform to exchange ideas, spark conversation, and create positive social change. Organizers of events turn to social media to “generate awareness, interest, [and] desire”. This is a use case where social media has the power to increase in person interactions by amplifying information on when and where specific events take place. The ease of accessibility to these social media platforms which share and publicize these events serve as a gateway to create moments within our community that focus on face-to-face connection.
Social media platforms serve the user as a vehicle for information. They are more than just a tool for sharing updates about our daily lives, its also a place where people turn to get news, communicate, make purchases, and stay up to date on current events.
Digital products have transformed society and the interactions we experience daily. Its not just apps and posts, it’s a digital world where we can either make connections or silo ourselves and stay isolated. It’s up to each of us to decide how we will use them. Reflecting on my own experience, social media aided me in making friends rather recently. I became aware of a local run club through a post on social media, after much deliberation I decided to go. One event turned into weekly occurrence, and I developed a group of friends who now meet regularly to share in a run and an after-work chat. Believe it or not, we all recently signed up to run our very first half marathon- all thanks to a social media post. I am working up the courage to ask them for a ride to the airport!
- Bella Stash, Consultant in the Office of the CTO, Deloitte Consulting LLP






“Technology brings so much comfort and ease, but in the shadow of “apps for everything” lies a slow and steady retreat from community.”
So true, great article.